Hello!

I've just been running a Writers' Cafe workshop on Showing vs Telling.

Writers are often told "show, don't tell" ... but in reality, there are always going to be moments in a novel where it makes good sense to tell us something.

The situation where I think telling definitely is best avoided is when you've already shown something perfectly well!

Here's the example I used in the workshop, from You Broke Me First by Lorraine Brown. The narrator, Ava, has explained to her mum that she's broken up with her boyfriend.

'Remember how you thought he was going to propose last summer?' said Mum unhelpfully.
'Do we have to go there?' I mumbled.
In what universe would that be a good thing to say to somebody who’d just been dumped by their boyfriend? Sometimes my mum’s complete lack of tact baffled me beyond belief.

​
The dialogue here is great, and Ava reacts very understandably!

But I think the final line could be cut altogether.

We know that her mother has a complete lack of tact from:

• The words her mother says (we're probably already cringing on Ava's behalf as we read that line).
• The use of "unhelpfully" (suggesting the words come across as upsetting or hurtful to Ava).

It's also clear that Ava finds this lack of tact baffling, because she asks In what universe would that be a good thing to say.

So we don't need to be told, in the final sentence, "Sometimes my mum's complete lack of tact baffled me beyond belief." We've already seen this, and having it hammered home is slightly distracting.

It's really easy to slip into this kind of telling when you're drafting or rewriting: I know I do it all the time! But as you edit on a detailed level, watch out for lines where you tell the reader something that you've just shown them perfectly clearly. Cutting those lines will make your writing cleaner, stronger, and more confident.

Happy writing,

Ali

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